All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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