i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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