How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
