He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
