At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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