youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize