What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize