She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
