Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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