Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
