Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
