so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
