Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
