am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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