I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
