i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
