shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
