Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
