Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
