Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it hurts more in the daytime
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
