Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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