I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
