By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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