Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
