Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
