Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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