Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
