also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
