i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
