i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
