she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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