What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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