yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
