On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
