You work out of a Hotel?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
