Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
