She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
