love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
