too bad you live with your parents still
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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