he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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