Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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