But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I touched a dick in church today
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
