i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize