My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could fuck to npr.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
