I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
