Your mouth is God's brothel.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
