The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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