I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
