youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
