I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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