im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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