Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you would pick up someone in the library
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
