Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
