Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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