you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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