5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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