I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
