Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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