I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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