are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
