Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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