I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
