im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
