This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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