it hurts more in the daytime
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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