I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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