ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
