ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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