Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize