what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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