wakey wakey hands off snakey
Someone shit on the floor
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Randomize
