It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
